The Fear of Giving In

Never tasted anything so bitter, I’ve never meant anything with such disdain or contempt. Deliberately avoid the issues in a misguided fundamental delusion of self-worth. You coerce sympathy that cloaks your jealousy in the illusion of entitlement, forever justifying this fallacy. You have never been at fault, distraught in the sight of truth and in love with your own sin. Rekindle the tangible disaster in time to remember what retribution felt like, as pure intentions crash around me. I purge my soul of my sybarite ways, I still haven’t forgiven. Destroy the uprising faction to give in to the feeding vultures. I’m not dead; I slumber in the wake of my failures paralyzed by fears’ soft whisper. I want to hear fear’s last words, feel its last breath on my cheek in the shadow of my victories. A circumscript horizon broken through by an edacious ambition. I’ve lost everything and I stand strong, never afraid to lose everything again, cursing my ever longing desire of everything I’m never getting back. A fragile future shattered in one fatal miscalculated mistake. I caress my misfortunes and smile at my troubles because I know I live to grow. Take back my life rapaciously searching for just a little more time to live life like it’s over. I want something real that gives verisimilitude to my purpose. I long for something more than just an ordinary existence. Since when has success come without struggles and victories without the fight? I want to fight for a cause, a feeling, something bigger than me, to lay it all on the line. No time to dwell on tomorrow while today erodes.