A Moment to Remember, a Lifetime to Forget

I’ve never been forgotten so fast, is my silhouette alive? [I would have said goodbye]

All life’s rules disregarded. So it’s come to this, I wasn’t aware I owed you. Unconcerned with what is proper, I long to voice the truth. A virtue to consume me from the inside. [It hurt me so bad]

A requiem to save us all [dead already?] I cannot wait to bear witness to the clever end of destiny. I don’t want to just survive, I want to live. I was bought but I was not born to be sold.

A Past deciding your future [Can you heal?] let the lesson sink in, go your separate ways. Be stronger than your story. [Scars can’t define us] Stand strong on principals that swallow all reason and rationale.

The wind is blowing thru closed doors. I answer without a response in no uncertain terms. An obvious sign like the whitest dove flying in front of the blackest cloud.

I wish you could understand my silence. I wish….. [you could feel me]

In Protest of My Prayer

In between breaths I drown [.......] This myth betrayed with a kiss, scavenge the daylight for what we have willingly lost, but need.

Sightseeing inconceivable release, we have seen the enemy and it is us; can we change? [Montage; let’s be one]

My heart beating like second hand dials on a grandfather clock, thoughts swaying like a pendulum hypnotizing like September in the rain.

I’ve found that we are creatures of habit, we all perish [where will I rest], what am I worth?

No one wants to hear it but we all know the truth, everything can’t be the way it seems. I saw the failure in your eyes reflecting off my soul.

It hit me again; like the first time, I thought I was incapable of being hurt [more fragile than before?]

I did it once and now I’ve done it again, the blue sky is above the storm. Behind your eyes the ocean rages, scars are a bridge. An heir to a day that never dims, it’s a perfect complement to your scarlet night.

Descend to the vintage conviction; feel wrong, feel anything. Feigning an apology my direction, what’s a key if you can’t find the door?

My heart disseminated, while I look the other way cause I don’t want to know the truth [I’m so obsolete.]

Corrupt

It seems we can’t see past our eyes, naïve cannot be an excuse.

We’d rather listen to soothing lullabies, WAKE UP YOUR SLEEPING!!!

We cannot afford not to question what we hear, gullible is an understatement

We have been played for far too long!!! Something has gone terribly wrong, we have
lost our purpose, we are beggars all.

{Love your country; question your government….
If men were angels, no government would be necessary}

What is worse: taking advantage of someone, OR being the one being taken advantage
of? [depends on where you stand]

Don’t complain if you are uninformed, this apathy is sickening

We are dying penny by penny, war by war yet no politician can tell us what it’s for

Land of the free, home of the drones [The Brave Sent Across a Desolate Shore]…Its our fault!!!

Build the Wreckage

I am nothing more than an aftermath of a storm, sprawled on the shore asking the wrong question. My ship in pieces and life in ruins, I am a broken vessel dried up as I reach for You. Take my desire and conform it, to sail where I’m called. It was in that moment of being seduced into the rocks by the prevailing winds, indulging in the scent of fresh rain, I knew it was unavoidable to be humbled and broken, wrecked! It’s the apathy before the storm. To where the rock fracture my body water pours into my soul weighing me down, sinking into a dark abyss in the silence of a tragedy, heaven my only witness. All hands on deck, but I’m the only one who can fight this battle. The angel on my bow submersed in the crushing tide along with the broken mast where my heart lays. What fogged my sight to be so carless, so unaware of the waves with ill intent? These forces besiege my well being, and introduce a deluge to my fears. I fall under the oceans spell and wake to the stench of seaweed and sorrow. Do I stay or BUILD THE WRECKAGE?

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Today I set sail awaiting the North winds loving what I left behind and learning to survive with what I have. I fought death and depression compounded with the construction of a worthy vessel. The world has passed me up, but I chase after something higher and mightier than the sea. To place my mark on uncharted waters I come to take back what has perished in my life. Out of involuntary exile I emerge to never turn back. I no longer take control of the Helm, I trust a navigator with endless mercy and wisdom to guide me to what I am to be. My ship built buoyant and true I sail as the sea calls me by another name for what I was I am no more.

The Fear of Giving In

Never tasted anything so bitter, I’ve never meant anything with such disdain or contempt. Deliberately avoid the issues in a misguided fundamental delusion of self-worth. You coerce sympathy that cloaks your jealousy in the illusion of entitlement, forever justifying this fallacy. You have never been at fault, distraught in the sight of truth and in love with your own sin. Rekindle the tangible disaster in time to remember what retribution felt like, as pure intentions crash around me. I purge my soul of my sybarite ways, I still haven’t forgiven. Destroy the uprising faction to give in to the feeding vultures. I’m not dead; I slumber in the wake of my failures paralyzed by fears’ soft whisper. I want to hear fear’s last words, feel its last breath on my cheek in the shadow of my victories. A circumscript horizon broken through by an edacious ambition. I’ve lost everything and I stand strong, never afraid to lose everything again, cursing my ever longing desire of everything I’m never getting back. A fragile future shattered in one fatal miscalculated mistake. I caress my misfortunes and smile at my troubles because I know I live to grow. Take back my life rapaciously searching for just a little more time to live life like it’s over. I want something real that gives verisimilitude to my purpose. I long for something more than just an ordinary existence. Since when has success come without struggles and victories without the fight? I want to fight for a cause, a feeling, something bigger than me, to lay it all on the line. No time to dwell on tomorrow while today erodes.

Reflections Begging for Attention

Impervious to detachment with an unconcerned conception, is a vain perception. A capacious soul with no vacancy invokes burdens of resolve. I wouldn’t fix my mistakes if I could. Sometimes it feels like God called in sick, while the void remains. Scrutinize the minuscule details to dissolve my silhouette devotion. Every story has a scar, and scars carry regrets, like a picture torn in two. I’m a stranger in a familiar place with ulterior motives. Hate your own identity and enthrall me with your naive acumen. Self searching blasphemy monologue manipulated ambition, realizing the sloth is eccentric to the still. The caveat of breathing is; with this life, we are set to fail. When did a smile become a chore? Answers transparent while questions compound. So many things held over me, and I can’t justify a single remnant of feeling. I sleep with my confessions to convalesce from my sins, but what’s the point if I serve no purpose? Self defamation is my only defense in light of my transgressions. Fell asleep companions; awoke strangers. I see it in every memory, and it still hits me like the first time, where was your motive? Sometimes I feel so faithless; I guess a little more tragedy would do me well. I wonder if I’ll find myself in the last place I left it, in the labyrinth of past regrets. Was I made like this, or did I let myself get this way? Ambition killed love and dissatisfied hope. Impatience took me for everything in a desperate attraction. I’m not looking for a cure, only answers, and I’ve hurt myself more than you could know. Two broken doesn’t make a whole, like sleeping off insomnia. Resent the mundane underlying inspired dearly departed pleading for a second chance to avoid bitterness. I will search forever to learn from my mistakes and understand the confusion, like lessons from a mirror, healed but reminded as I fall into life’s dissent.

Pefidious Heuristic Living Leads to Postmortem Revivals

Ambiguous monstrosity held in a simple mind. Entropy held tight the dream of disorder. You have abacinated everyone in your attempt to escape judgment. Halfhearted Emulated Attributes Transcended Hypothetical Egocentric Rendition is dead. Your revisionist desire laden desperation of a fractured life. Put on your best widows smile and drown in the Tiger Lilly. Do you remember the last look? Whisper unborn façade of romantics with aphasia assisted rhetoric, he’ll still understand. This mundane resolve redefined poise. I’ve found it rather stunning, my detachment to the uncompromising surreal dull despair, like a dream lacking serenity. Take your pride in the simple things. You need recognition like begging the crumbs to be from the masters table. You dream of apostasy with no consequence. Is this the desert you spoke of? It’s so cold. I release ghost with every breath and I realize life is more fragile than I would have imagined. So why waste my time with regrets with no reaction and fear life’s mockery of existence. When I want to fall apart I take comfort in knowing I never had a choice, and listen to life’s unappreciated resolve.

The Irony of Being Ironic

Desperate disappointing nightmares keep me believing in love. You keep me grounded like an anchor tied to a feather. I remember the anchor well, the feeling of sinking to the bottom of the sea was peaceful, I sank with my insecurities and faults you never let me forget. Life experienced makes me want to experiment more. Mercy fell asleep with the gas on in a room full of lit candles, and died without ever knowing me. The bigger crook always hangs the smaller crook. You have the beauty of water in the distance of a dessert. It's sad that being the worst is the best you can do. You walk without a path while casting the shadow of a ghost. Misery is a profitable business, and it's what you got coming, but you'll appreciate its liberating ending. So we'll burn it down to build it better. Sometimes I feel like I am somebody I'm not too, funny how we can believe our own lies. But it's never too late to retrace your footsteps even if you have to go back through the fire. I finally met myself the other day, I like who I have become, REAL. What you see is what you get and that is how it should be. I saved me from me. So let's end this by starting over. I would like to formally welcome…the rest of my life.

Freedom Can Be Frightening If You’ve Never Felt It

I swallowed love with a bitter aftertaste and I have scars to prove it. My demise is a comedy with no relief. I still recall every little detail and how it felt to be nothing. I made insecurities fashionable to the point of no return. You are the arsonist and I am the crime scene. My self-inflicted grief felt like a razorblade salvation; bleeding me out slowly. My near life experience scared me to death.

Phobia is assurance in comfort; don't be afraid to love me. Saying I am not the one is stupid like solving Global Warming by throwing ice cubes at the sun. To lose you is to never love again and you're a sucker for sympathy. I wouldn't even believe myself, but I have changed, I am who I say I am, I'm not the same. So take your own advice: don't trade your gold, for coal.

Body Hunting in a Ghost Town

Speak like a sad song with a overzealous tone. I hate how I express how I feel, but I embrace the pain and accept the grief. I have to be honest with you; I miss your calming touch and your sensual insults. So, I would like to thank you for letting me know I can feel this way.

Practice makes it harder to see perfect fail. This misery you gave me saved me but I fear my legitimacy is deteriorating like my faded vanity. It's easier to run when you want to escape, but we only dig deeper by running away. I found the light but I never found the passage. Frankly speaking my life works no matter how cursed

The End, how beautiful, the struggle was my journey, I look back and smile. Remember how I cared when it came crashing down? I can't explain to you in anything I say, but I hope these actions speak the words I can't, and I won't bore you with details, but I'll never let you down.

You need to learn this lesson: You will always be chained by your past and your pain until YOU decide to break the lock. It's on you and no one else, and if you don't decide heal, then close your eyes and just settle.

Dancing in the Ashes...

This trial, though it may seem tragic, has made me more aware of who I really am…imagine knowing yourself, it feels like true freedom. I guess you really do find out more about yourself when facing adversity. I just have to be honest and straightforward in this one: I would just like to say thank you pain, for reminding me that I am real and that I can still feel, thanks loneliness, you made me rely on myself and taught me how to survive and be independent while trusting in GOD, and lastly I couldn't do it with out you depression, you were a hard one to handle, but in the end I found my true emotional self and now I'm so much stronger than before. GOD blessed this fall with victory, but that didn't make the landing any softer, I jumped from Mount Everest and landed into the Dead Sea. The truth is that I let all the bad things happen to me, I'm responsible, me and no one else. The bridge I crossed has not yet to be burned; it has a passage for another that has a choice to make…settle or be happy, that's as plain and simple as I can put it. This passage has changed me for the best and I am truly happy and I want to see the other person changed to, but I cannot decide for them, so if they decide not to change I will dance in the ashes of the bridge I will burn.

WE HUNGER PEACE BUT WE THIRST WAR

I've taken this presumptuous beating and found a fear you have never felt. I found that you have mastered feeling nothing and "your indifference will bleed you dry". So send me back to the grave and the ghosts back to life to share my perpetual pain. You've shown me everything I thought it'd is nothing like it is. You comfortably confuse your indecision for the desire to be missed, and I'm happy to oblige.

Our last kiss…..the Angels cried that night and I haven't been happier since. I thought I would never lose myself or set my life up to fail, I wish the worst on what I was. With a closed fist I found beauty in tears and consequence in life like a existential carousel. Baptized by the unexpected and drowning in my imperfections.

Lets retrace our footsteps and forfeit all pride and unravel the pieces we've been missing, then meet at the mouth for overdue reunion. The time is here, the time is now. Dispose your ever decaying dead ends in the ocean and live in fate's dark shadow, but don't face the inevitable. Sing a song not yet written and paint a picture to protest all art to pass the time. We are nothing; a spec in time, a instinctual pretension towards death and we are all tragedies in our own right, waiting to be delivered from lifes firm grip. While your begging for an ending i'll prepare my prologue waiting to start my story, waiting to begin truly living, to begin truly dying....alone??

"The only thing that's worse than one is none."

Hey Romantica, Insecurities Are Not Required but the Devotional Is

Let me be vain as I believe in you with everything I hate. Let's remake this classic with a sense of urgency and fate. We held hands, we shared laughs, we shared lips, but best of all we shared LOVE…undying LOVE….but we got off the beaten path so forgive my persistence to regain what I have lost. We are perfect, we are beautiful, we met in the middle of nowhere and nothing and we kissed where everyone could see, we kissed and it was perfect, it was everything, it was.....NOTHING!!!

THESE WORDS LEAD TO DEAD ENDS

Place the blame sarcastically on my forehead with no room to breathe. Why look to GOD for help when you have nature to comfort you?? Tree huggers grow up to be no more than children with scraped knees and bruised egos. The chip on your shoulder has grown rather large, have you even noticed?? Can you sense your own loneliness, its the reason you look to far away places, where you become nothing more than a notch. Just wait til they're done with you, at that time I reserve the right to laugh and say, "I told you so", and you'll be back at square one thinking of me. So lets skip the part where you choke on the drug of lust and be who you want to be and not what you think will get you through some tough times. This is nothing more than ankle deep rhetoric in a pool of disgusting allusions. Your denial is suffocating, and your heart is harder than a diamond sparkling in loss of self control. Oh and by the way thanks for the bitterness, I guess I'm using it now. Im just your contingency plan for your inevitable tragedy...but at least I'm something. Do not mistake this reprimand for hate, but more like the father of the prodigal son, endlessly waiting.

When Your Shadow Shows Up On a Cloudy Day

Throw your lies into my over-exaggerated lungs with disdain. Out of sight out of life with all the trimmings. Rain falls upside-down when your without a soul to lose. So, don't overrate the life of a shadow, cause if you do it'll show up on a cloudy day, it'll show up on a cloudy day.

Fight apathy, or not it's up to you, you know. Throw yours shoes off and don't force the issue, you lost religion and got freedom with a hell to face with no remorse. What? You didn't see this coming, another to fill the void, you can only look at yourself to blame and learn this lesson, 'misery loves company, but you'll still be alone', You'll still be alone.

I'm so far gone I'm back where I started, hating this tale end of my tragedy with a lethargic tongue. Thanks for the insecure monotone distance, it keep me wet on those cold nights alone. I know I'm beating a dead horse saying this, but its the only thing that makes me feel at home. Thanks for listening, although I'm not sure you heard me, I'm pouring out my veins to you. Why the sincere resentment? Rely on your instinctual pretentious ways and throw me down one more time, whats just one more time to you?

Trendy nostalgia is better than your designer emotions, get with life or jump through my window, and when you hit the ground you'll think of me. Deception is a drug dealt with nonchalant fault-line that goes up your noes, but does it make you heart beat faster? Don't worry i can work with hate, but not apathetic portfolio laced with lustfulness. I guess it just your nature to be miserable, surrounded, and alone....and alone!!!

QUOTE OF THE DAY!!!

"AN UNEXAMINED LIFE IS NOT WORTH LIVING" -SOCRATES

THINK ABOUT IT!!!